Seeking a Volume and other Stories
by Ladiladida
Summary: A series of silly drabbles. While trying to discover more about the Elysium Root, Severus Snape is recommended a new bookshop down Diagon Alley, though answers are not easy to find in Archemedes Tremmello's bookstore. A humorous drabble. Post D.H AU. SS/HG undertones
1. Seeking a Volume

_**A.N Hello, this is another little drabble I wrote for velveteen bunny as a well done for her hard work in recent weeks. She gave me a some prompts which were; banana, bookshop with unhelpful owner, tango and Diagon Alley. This was the result, it is post D.H and is obviously AU, it has a Hermione/Snape subtext and if you previously read my drabble A Light in a Storm this could be seen as set previous to that. Please review if you can but also I am not as knowledgeable as some people about the HP universe.**_

Diagon Alley was as ever, shady in aspect, its narrow expanse a small part of a secret world. But the cobbles were becoming impossible, some were now so old and weathered that they slanted, jutting up out of their foundation. Wizards both good and ill had all encountered embarrassing moments at some time or another as they pretended they hadn't tripped over a defiant cobblestone. Many grumbled that even muggle councils would have had this hazard sorted out, including the crap ones. But they remained as they were, lying dormant like a silent trickster ready to send some unsuspecting wizard a cropper. Severus Snape wandered along the street full of aloof purpose, his coat flaps blowing gently behind him from the motion of his stride. He too stumbled as his toe stubbed an uneven cobble and he took a moment to stop and quietly curse to himself. No one was around to witness it thankfully and so he continued on.

Snape had been searching for a book store he had been recommended that had recently opened down Diagon Alley and he was informed the owner was particularly interesting to consult. For a time he had meandered down, the scrawled address written on crumpled paper in his hand until at last he found it. As he beheld the sign of the premises he couldn't help but raise a cursory eyebrow, it was so old and worn one would imagine the shop had been here for decades. Snape immediately thought less of the bookstore for he imagined they had prescribed to this modern nonsense of 'shabby chic'. His hopes were no further heightened by the sight of windows coated in dusty dirt and matted cobwebs, you could not see through them. Indeed the proprietor seemed to have tried very hard to make the place blend in and look mysterious. Despite his misgivings he pushed down the handle on a door barely resting on its hinges and he heard the jingle of a bell. As he stepped to enter he was hit strong in the face by a domineering smell that almost knocked him backwards, it was not dust as the exterior suggested but worse…. Incense.

Snape stood in the doorway, hand still resting on the handle as he looked into the dimly lit, cramped shop floor which was crammed with dark, high rising shelves carelessly packed with volumes. All was quiet and he observed if only the smell was not so offensive he might step in after all. His better judgement was telling him to retreat when a voice called.

"Guess you're not here for a volume on dithering, you're clearly a master!" The voice sounded old and croaky but its origin he could not pinpoint. "Shut the door if you're stopping!"

The door was closed but begrudgingly so and Snape took a few steps further into the room, he looked around the dim gloom yet still could not locate the owner.

"Clearly sight is not your thing!" The voice called again and Snape grew impatient.

"Enlighten me."

"Up here blackbird!" He called and Snape's eyes travelled up one bookshelf as his brain comprehended the name he'd just been called. Seated atop the bookshelf he beheld a small, crooked man in shabby grey dress casually chomping on a banana, the rest of the bunch resting by his side.

"Here I am!" He said with his mouth full, a sight Snape found more than a little distasteful.

"So I see." He replied slowly, perplexed and annoyed. "It is a rather unorthodox place to reside."

"What's the joy in life without a little mystery?"

"I never imagined that included where one seated oneself."

Snape couldn't believe he was even having this conversation, the old man however chuckled, pulling the remaining banana from its peel and tossing the yellow remnants to what looked like a bin not far from where Snape stood. He missed.

"You are the proprietor?" Snape asked, hoping this person was merely some bad joke and that the real owner would soon appear. The man sniffed and stretched down his hand.

"Archimedes Tremmello."

Snape came forward and limply shook his hand.

"Severus Snape."

"So, what can I do for you?" Tremmello asked, licking the end of each finger noisily to remove any bits of banana. "What book?"

"Do you have any volumes that mention Elysium root?"

"Couldn't tell you."

"Then may you direct me to the shelf you advise that I consult, please?" Snape asked, annoyance ever growing in his frame at this ridiculous situation.

"Well Mr Shape, I stock 'em and stack 'em but I'm not a reading man meself so I don't know anything about what you're looking for. Sounds like hocus pocus to me. There's a lot o' that round here."

Snape didn't appreciate that last remark, but he felt the best action was to ignore it,

"So what would you advise?"

"Have a poke around, Mr Shape."

"It's Snape. Professor Severus Snape."

"Well, have a nosey_ professor, _you might find it's your lucky day."

In his mind, Snape highly doubted it.

He looked around frustratedly, not sure where to start. He would never listen to Slughorn again, fancy recommending this place to him. He would give him a piece of his mind upon their next meeting. Walking around he scanned spine after leather bound spine, he was out of Tremmello's sight but somehow he could still feel his gaze. After a few minutes he spotted 'Elixir Bases and Charms: Intermediate' crammed onto a parallel shelf, this gave him hope. As he perused he started to believe he was in the right place when the genre of the titles suddenly changed. Snape highly doubted a book entitled 'Vampiric Delights: A Love Story' and its siblings that both disturbed him and made him want to vomit. The titles became more debauched as he scanned along and somehow the shelf had become the place to store women's erotic fiction. Yet crushed amid all these adult volumes was a copy of 'Room on a Broom' by Julia Donaldson. He pulled it out with an exasperated groan staring hard with disbelief and called out.

"Is there any organisational structure within these walls?"

No answer came but when he turned back to the shelf he found a pair of craggy eyes belonging to Tremmello casually staring at him through the shelf above the line of books. He jumped back a little in surprise, dropping the children's book as he did so, he felt such acute annoyance now his whole body was flushed with heat. It was clearly time to leave.

"I cannot find what I am looking for." He exclaimed towards the spying Tremmello only to find the pair of eyes no longer watched him. Snape turned quickly on his heel to walk but the small fiend now collided with him, how had he got there? Snape betrayed a further gasp of exasperation that furrowed Tremmello's wirey, silver brows. He was as Snape first saw a very scruffy man, his worn knitwear full of holes and showing stains here and there.

"Sorry Professor, scared you did I?"

"Your attentions are proving…"

Tremmello cut him off by walking past him a step or two and he continued to witter.

"Now you said you were looking for Elysium Foot…" He rambled and then seeing what lied on the shelf Snape had been searching his tone changed. "But I see other things caught your eye aye?"

Tremmello gave Snape a jestful nudge in the side with his elbow and his head gestured towards the women's erotic fiction. This was the final straw for Snape and he snapped.

"Whatever I say it is clearly not to be found in a place such as this which is devoid of sense and order!"

Barging past Tremmello, Snape hastened to his escape route when the door swung open and a young woman hurried in. Her presence stopped Snape dead in his tracks for fear of another collision and he realised the young woman was none other than Hermione Granger. Her hair was scooped up into a loose, high ponytail with small, wispy tendrils framing her face in a most pleasant way. She looked a little surprised and afraid to be confronted with Snape and she chewed on her lip nervously. A short silence was suspended between them, rudely interrupted by the neurotic bookshop owner.

"Now then Hermy I'm glad you're here, I was about to lose our distinguished blackbird here." Tremmello explained and bringing his hand up to his face to whisper he continued to Hermione. "Not very patient."

Hermione comprehended with a little embarrassment knowing Snape had heard full well what Tremmello said, she watched as the Professor's dark brow knitted further.

"Oh." She stuttered. "What are you looking for Professor?"

At last, thought Snape someone to talk sense with, he knew Hermione would at least attempt to help him.

"Any volumes that contain knowledge of Elysium Root." Snape explained, ignoring Tremmello completely and focusing solely on Hermione but Tremmello was not a man to be ignored.

"I thought." He chimed. "You said Elysium's Foot, no wonder I can't help you if you're not clear."

Hermione chose to ignore the little man, the displeasure on Snape's face now turning him a shade of purple.

"It does not come into mind right away." She explained. "I have not heard of it before."

"I admit, it is new to me also." Snape replied, trying not to let his annoyance with the proprietor influence his tone with Hermione, his one hope.

"I am in progress…. Early progress of categorising these shelves, it's a pity your request wasn't a week later I could have been more immediately helpful." Her tone faltered again and Snape found himself slightly touched by her words. She was obviously a little uneasy around him still after all these years though he frequently saw her at Hogwarts, though of later years they'd not really spoken. Hermione betrayed her nerves by fiddling with a tendril that tickled her cheek and she pushed it behind her ear.

"Never mind Miss Granger, I appreciate the sentiment."

He pitied her working alongside a lunatic who seemed to think he was running a jumble sale as opposed to a book store. He moved towards the door again but Hermione urged forward. In her excitable state she touched his arm to halt his exit but when he looked upon it she blushed. Retracting it immediately she started to babble.

"Perhaps…. I mean… I could… if you like…. Look for you and bring any volumes mentioning Elysium Root to Hogwarts?"

"It's the holidays Miss Granger." Snape replied and Hermione blushed deeper now feeling the fool for she had been on a break for two weeks already after beginning to work at Hogwarts earlier in the term.

"So it is… erm…"

"If you wouldn't mind, perhaps you could bring the volume to my home should you find one?" Snape asked hardly imagining there'd even be one useful volume in this bookshop but Tremmello again piped up.

"She's not a delivery service!"

"Of course I would not wish to inconvenience Miss Granger."

"You wouldn't be." She said clearing her throat, her voice more steady as she overcame her blunder. Snape looked grateful at her and she couldn't help but smile, Tremmello made a 'pfft' noise and wandered off.

"Then I am obliged to you."

Snape wrote down his address and handed it to Hermione, surprised as she seemed to jump a little when their fingers grazed one another's. He left without another word and Hermione always liking a project set about her task.

Snape was reading his newspaper when he heard the knock at his door later that day, he rarely had visitors so he imagined who it would be, though in that shambles he had expect the job may have taken her a few days. Opening the door out into the dusk there stood Hermione, her hair and shy smile still the same as earlier but now she wore a red dress underneath a denim jacket. In her hand she held several books, clearly a heavy load. Snape looked around and surmised she had walked all this way with them.

"You carried them all this way?" He asked, immediately holding out his hands to take the burden from her, esteeming her in his mind.

"Yes."

A moment lingered between them again, but Snape's curiosity had to break it.

"You really work there during the holidays?"

"Someone has to." She joked and she swore he smiled slightly. "He clearly needed a hand I just underestimated what a job it would be. I hope those books are useful somehow."

"I daresay. You were always thorough Miss Granger."

Hermione decided that was a compliment, Snape again noticed her dress, she was clearly going out after this errand.

"I'm keeping you." He said.

"Oh…" She blushed. "I'm just going to a dance class."

"I thought dance classes were for five year old muggle girls who then were forced into Brownies."

"Well it's Tango lessons for this nineteen year old muggle." Hermione laughed and their eyes met again, his the softest she'd seen in some time. Snape's eyebrows raised and she felt self conscious again. "I daresay you think that a pointless pursuit. It's my first time."

Hermione watched as Snape looked down at his watch and seemed to realise there was somewhere he also was to be. He stepped back into his hallway, unloading the books and retrieving his coat leaving Hermione to compose herself. Closing the door he locked it and turned back to her.

"May I walk some of the way with you?"

"Of course." She replied and they started to walk side by side, silent to start with but Hermione was determined to speak. "Are you working on something new Professor, is that why you want the Elysium root?"

"Its name came up during some research I was doing." Snape replied feeling a strange compunction to offer her his arm. He did so without speaking and after a moment of being dumbfounded Hermione took it, feeling like some Regency lady.

"Elysium… isn't that a word for heaven or the afterlife?"

"Top marks." He reply wryly.

"Its potential uses sound ominous."

"That's what I aim to investigate, it is always sensible to weigh up the danger of every ingredient and its potential."

Hermione had always found the Professor both a figure to be in awe of and feared, though that was the view of child Hermione. Now she beheld him on more equal terms and admired his desire to further investigate potions and the magic arts despite his already vast knowledge, there was never an endgame to him obviously.

"Are you interested in becoming a teacher Miss Granger?"

"Yes."

"I think you have the intelligence and depth though forgive me…. You need to be less mindful of those around you."

"That is not something I imagine you ever had trouble with." She replied with her modest candour and he could not help but smile slightly at the reply.

"I would have been a poor teacher if I let myself be distracted by what Mr Weasley or Miss Lovegood or even yourself thought of me during lessons."

"You'll be pleased to know we were all united in believing you to be a tyrant." Hermione replied feeling more bold and she watched again how she somehow managed to create a smile however small on Snape's face. Since surviving the darkness surrounded by Voldemort Snape had seemed to exorcise some part of his demons, not all but a little. It made him now at least seem less deeply sorrowful.

They walked and discussed Hogwarts and magic for some time, Snape listening attentively to Hermione's views and modest plans for her life, she did not realise how confidently she was speaking now. Finally they arrived outside of the venue where her lesson was to be conducted and she was surprised for she had not led the way.

"How did you know where my class was?" She asked, Snape turned and looked at her and said lightly.

"This half blood has been going for four weeks."


	2. Custard Creams

_**A.N This is a rather odd drabble that I've written for Velveteen Bunny based on a character we created. It is very tongue in cheek. Reviews always welcome.**_

There was a peculiar allure with Custard Creams that many have tried to unsuccessfully put their finger on. From appearance it is an unprepossessing biscuit, yet when eaten one longs for another and another. Severus Snape stood in the biscuit section of a rundown local shop, skimming his eyes over the various brands and flavours searching for them. As he searched his mind recalled he needed milk and he turned to fetch a small carton whilst the thought was at the front of his mind. But upon returning towards the biscuit section he beheld a small, bearded goblin reaching out his hand and taking a packet of Custard Creams from the shelf. Snape waited till the gentleman moved along, he was never fond of close contact with strangers and then returned to the biscuits. His eyes did not deceive him, there were no Custard Creams to be found, that swine had taken the last packet! On an average day Snape would be unmoved by this but today he really needed those biscuits. Walking to the bored looking proprietor at the desk he inquired whether there were any other packets in the stock cupboard that he could buy. The owner nonchalantly shook his head.

"Best try somewhere else."

"Where exactly?" Snape snapped, annoyed by the man's lethargic tone. "Nowhere else nearby is open!"

"You obviously don't need them _that_ much then." The owner replied, unmoved by the disapproving glare Snape gave him, instead he went into the backroom. It was time to try another tactic.

The goblin was now perusing the cleaning products section when Snape approached him, trying his best to look amenable.

"Excuse me." Snape asked, the goblin turned and looked him up and down disinterestedly. What was it about this neighbourhood that made everyone wear the same mundane expression? "This will appear very unusual but I wonder if you would mind allowing me to have that packet of custard creams?"

The goblin looked taken aback, his wiry brows rose, furrowing in the middle. From the look on his face it was if Snape had walked up and asked him to step outside with him so he could take a kidney right there in the street.

"And why would I be doin' that wizard?" The goblin asked.

"I am in need of them."

"Nothing to go with your Earl Grey aye fancypants?"

"I can see it appears an odd request but…"

"Who be you?" The goblin asked, his voice pitched with annoyance and he held the Custard Creams protectively behind his back.

"My name is Severus Snape, I'm a professor at Hogwarts."

"And you be believin' that I should therefore hand over my biscuits?"

"I would consider it a favour." Snape replied, his teeth grating whilst he tried to keep his tone as pleasant as he could.

"A favour that cannot be repaid, you do not even know who I am?"

"Should I?" Snape snapped, regretting his haste as soon as the words left his mouth. The goblin inhaled sharply and without another word he turned on his heel and walked towards the cash desk. Snape couldn't help but follow, his desire to achieve his purpose for coming here in the first place overruling his anger. The nearer he moved towards the goblin the more nimble he became until at last he turned sharp and glared at Snape full in the face.

"You are making a mistake fancypants tryin' to intimidate Greblock!"

"Is that your name?"

"Aye. I am Greblock, son of Greblock…"

"Son of Greblock?" Snape asked sarcastically, again wishing he could hold his tongue.

"No…" Greblock glowered, his chest heaving with extreme stress now and his cheeks purple in shade. "Begad of Flemm. Who be you?"

"I have told you who I am and all that I need, I did not think I was asking for the earth." Snape explained. "There are many other types of biscuits… gingernuts for example are very pleasing."

"Then by all means go buy yourself some!" Greblock replied and without a further word he raced towards the cash desk and bellowed for the owner to come and serve him. The owner did not arrive at first and this prompted Greblock to become even angrier to the point where he began banging on the desk several times.

"I demand to be served!"

Snape neared the desk with the rest of his purchases, queuing a metre or so behind Greblock. For a moment they were on an equal plain with one another, the service being intolerable but it would not last.

"EXCUSE ME?!" Shouted Greblock. "Where be you? Hell?"

The owner came out with a cigarette hanging from his mouth, he looked at Greblock like he'd interrupted peace talks between two warring countries. Then Greblock began tugging on his beard in frustration as the owner just stood there and looked at him with disdain saying flatly.

"Yes?"

It was the final straw, slamming down his bottle of detergent Greblock backed away from the desk, turning to look at Snape who instinctively stepped away from him.

"You want these?" He stammered loudly before throwing them on the floor hard. "Take them, I be tired of this harassment!"

Without ceremony the goblin stormed to the door, yanking it open and slamming it behind him. There was a suspended pause as both Snape and the owner took in what had just happened. Finally the owner tutted as he removed the detergent bottle from the counter.

"Bloody highly strung, I was only having a fag!" Then he caught sight of the packet of clearly broken Custard Creams on the floor. "You still want them?"

Normally Snape would have left it, but not today. Paying for his purchases he was relieved when he got to leave the premises and walk home in the cool night air. The beauty of the night calmed his mood from agitated to exhausted from the stress of the debacle. The key turned in his door and he stepped inside the warmth of his house.

"That took a while?" A voice called. Snape entered his tasteful living room where Hermione was sat with her feet up. "I thought you'd gone to their factory."

"You have no idea what just happened!" Snape said with fatigue, Hermione beckoned him over and offered him a kiss. "You can have the whole packet now, I never want to look at a custard cream again."

"Whatever it was…" She said. "It would have paled into insignificance compared to a twenty two year old pregnant me with a craving."


End file.
